he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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