arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
