That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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