i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
They took my balls.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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