i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
