All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
