you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
im six kinds of drunk right now
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
