So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
