Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
