I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
