I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
