She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
