is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
