i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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