You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
