Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
