Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
