He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
