If i come over, it means nothing
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
