She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I got inside last night via doggy door
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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