Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
