yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
