having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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