If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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