Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
