If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
