I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
