Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
