the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
