Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
