I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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