Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
