Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
