My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
