I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
