Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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