Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
