dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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