either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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