She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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