I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
