I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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