I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
