Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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