The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
