Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
