I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
