this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I can't put those talents on a resume
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
