i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
She said her name was "party"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
