if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
