I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
