Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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